3 is way more difficult than 2!

Hey everyone! I am still working on the labor and delivery story for little Lea but I wanted to give everyone an update now.  I didn't think that there would be much difference between having 2 kids and going to 3.  BOY WAS I WRONG!  Even with one of them in school for most of the day, having 3 kids is much more difficult.

First let's talk about my first little princess.  She loves her little sister and constantly wants to hold her and kiss her, BUT she is also very jealous of her sister.  

She has went from a sweet little girl to this little monster that is hard to recognize.  We are slowly working on getting our sweet little girl back but have yet to see but glimpses of her since we came home from the hospital.  She turns 3 in January so I know some of it can be linked to the 3's but also a lot of it is that she isn't the baby anymore.  She is talking more now, and most of it you can understand.Also I now know when selective hearing begins. Her attitude is showing through very clearly and all I have to say in regards to that is that we are going to have our hands full.

Now let's look at my young prince.  He is having a shock right now because he is acquiring a lot more responsibility around the house.  He also tried to play the needy child card like his 2 year old sister, which i nipped in the butt right away.  He loves his new little sister and constantly wants to hold her.  

He is a big helper when to comes to getting things for her and helping out with Fiona.

An update on the leave situation, well they denied my claim as far as the pay is concerned.  I was approved for the time off, which is great but I haven't received a paycheck since the middle of September.  We haven't been in a situation like this for a very long time.  It is not making postpartum any easier.  I feel like I'm fighting against a brick wall sometimes, just trying to stop it from closing in.  I know what that brick wall is and I don't want to let it close in all the way.  Having dealt with postpartum depression in the past, I don't want to go through it again.  It is a very real and difficult issue to deal with.  With the financial troubles that we are having right now, I feel like I'm right on the edge.  According to my insurance and employer, I will be getting a check on 10/31 but it will not be a full check, because the first week you are out is on you.  I used the PTO I had saved for the delivery back in September when I was told to take leave.   So this first week of my leave is unpaid.  We will see what 56 hours gets me once taxes and deductions are taken out.  In the meantime my day consists of making arrangements and dealing with the phone calls from everyone.  We just have to make it through another week. 

I chose to give breastfeeding another try with Lea.

I gave up early with Dareon and same with Fiona. It made me feel like a failure so I became determined to do it with Lea. I didn't realize everything involved with it though. The nipple pain, the cramping, and the engorgement. Oh my god it hurt so bad, BUT I am happy to say that we are still successfully breastfeeding 12 days later :). Granted in the middle of the night about 3:30 am I really wish Tony could feed her. Lol. After I had her I weighed 235 lbs and as of today I weigh 213.5 lbs 😳!