So I've been MIA for the last 10 months...here's what's been going on.
Today is the last day we will be a family of 4. It's hard to believe that tomorrow lil Lea will be here. I'm a bundle of emotions right now, ranging from excited to scared shitless.
We never planned on having another kid after Fiona, but it happened anyways. When I first found out I was pregnant yet again I freaked the fuck out. I took 4 at home tests and then made the dr do an additional test to make sure. I cried for days and had anxiety attack after anxiety attack. Looking back on it, the attacks probably came from coming off of my depression medicine. I eventually was able to calm down and then started feeling about having another kid.
I was diagnosed with gall stones within the next 3 weeks. We thought we were losing the baby when we walked into the emergency room, but after a battery of tests and ultrasounds they determined that the baby was fine but I had gallstones. They said that my gallbladder was going to have to come out sometime after the baby arrives. Needless to say with the gallstones there was added stress and complications. This pregnancy was very hard on me over the last 10 months with the additional pain and gallbladder attacks.
In April, Tony's mom started having seizures and blackouts. She was rushed to the hospital. They admitted her and she was in ICU for 3 days. We weren't sure if she was going to make it through. They got her stabilized and then started their battery of tests to find out what was wrong with her. After about 3 weeks it was determined that she had stage 3 lung cancer. Add stress. Things have been very rough. She doesn't have insurance so we have had to do what we can in order to help them with expenses. Unfortunately Tony hasn't been making a lot like he did the year before so our finances have no wiggle room at all.
Speaking of Tony's job, it will be over more than likely at the end of October or November. More stress. So we have been looking for more options for him. He has offers to move to NY to work and that's what we were planning on for a few months. But that fell through and then he started getting offers from TX to come and work. Right now that is the plan. I just wish that he was able to go there before hand and get started but he hasn't been able to since I am pregnant with some serious complications. The plan is to move as soon as I am ready to after the baby is delivered. But he has to still finish the application process for these different companies.
I decided to go back to the same dr that delivered Fiona back in 2012, Dr. Lewis. Everything was fine up until 2 weeks ago, when out of nowhere he retired without notice. So at 37 weeks I had to find another dr to do my C-section. Queue additional stress. I found and met with Dr. Sporn and was feeling a lot better. He looked at ultrasounds and tests then moved my due date from 10/26 to 10/17. They called the hospital and scheduled my surgery for 10/10. But since Dr. Lewis took me out of work as of 9/9, I have been fighting with the insurance company for compensation.
So needless to say we are very anxious for Lea to make her appearance. It will be the beginning of a new life for us. If and when Tony gets this job in TX we will be moving and for someone who not only hates change and also has never lived anywhere else, it makes for a very stressful situation. I like to plan and know what is going on. I hate flying by the seat of my pants like we have had to for the past 3 months. I'm scared that we won't have any money to move out there. I'm scared that in the meantime we can't pay our bills and we are going to lose everything. Trying to stay calm through this whole process has not been easy and I have broken down too many times to count.
Anyways….I feel like I have so much stuff left to do. Not to mention that with Fiona I was able to buy stuff and get ready for her. For Lea, we haven't been able to buy a lot of stuff at all. The stuff we have bought isn't new and it makes me feel horrible. I just want her to feel loved like Fiona and Dareon. I know that stuff doesn't determine love but I don't like feeling she's getting the raw end of the deal.
I hope Fiona likes her little sister. She's definitely into the 2's right now. Lol. Well I better get to work on what I need to have finished today. So much to do so little time.
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